Little Billy *Caution*

[Buzzed]

Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.

After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give
you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."

Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

"Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"

"No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own f*cking business!!"

LITTLE BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY:

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"

She calls on little BILLY.

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:

One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.

Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."


LITTLE BILLY ON... MATH:

Little BILLY returns home from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

"Why?" asks the father."

"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6," replied BILLY.

"But that's right!" says his dad.

"Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'"

"What's the f*cking difference? " asks the father.

"That's what I said!"


LITTLE BILLY ON...ENGLISH:

Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going
to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a
multi-syllable word?"

BILLY says " Mas-tur-bate."

Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY, that's a mouthful."

Little BILLY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."


LITTLE BILLY ON...GRAMMAR:

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.

First she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father
bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher.

She then called on little Michael.

"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."

The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!"

Then, she reluctantly called on little BILLY.

"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was
pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just f***ing beautiful!"

[Serpent]

one word - hilarious!

[D.A.R.K.[CotC]]

ROFL, someone told me these once

[Buzzed]

Van Gogh's Family Tree
>>
>>His dizzy aunt -- Verti Gogh
>>
>>The brother who ate prunes -- Gotta Gogh
>>
>>The brother who worked at a convenience store -- Stop N. Gogh
>>
>>The grandfather from Yugoslavia -- U Gogh
>>
>>The cousin from Illinois -- Chica Gogh
>>
>>His magician uncle -- Where Diddy Gogh
>>
>>His Mexican cousin -- A. Mee Gogh
>>
>>The Mexican cousin's American half-brother -- Gring Gogh
>>
>>The nephew who drove a stage coach -- Wells Far Gogh
>>
>>The constipated uncle -- Cant Gogh
>>
>>The ballroom dancing aunt -- Tang Gogh
>>
>>The bird lover uncle -- Flamin Gogh
>>
>>His nephew psychoanalyst -- E Gogh
>>
>>The fruit loving cousin -- Man Gogh
>>
>>An aunt who taught positive thinking -- Way To Gogh
>>
>>The little bouncy nephew -- Poe Gogh
>>
>>A sister who loved disco -- Go Gogh
>>
>>And his niece who travels the country in a van -- Winnie Bay Gogh
>>
>>....... And there ya Gogh!

[Executioner [CotC]]

that's pretty good,I liked it

[TooLBlue]

I think you're at a 9 out of 10 on the corni-ness scale for the Gogh one :]

[Ender[CotC]]

Oh... my .... god. Quite a mouth on that billy kid.

Nice Gogh usage.

[Buzzed]

I think you're at a 9 out of 10 on the corni-ness scale for the Gogh one :]

I love corny jokes!